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Prometheus: the Grumpy Fanboy review

10 Jun

Prometheus suffers from too many idiotic character decisions and plot holes so big, you could fly the Nostromo through them.

I had very high hopes for Prometheus. Ridley Scott’s much-heralded return to science fiction. A prequel to the phenomenal Alien series. A great cast that includes Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Noomi Rapace, Idris Elba and Guy Pearce. It had every reason to be great. But due to poor character development and puzzling gaps in the story, the film never quite gets off the ground.

The premise is simple: scientists believe they have unearthed clues to the origins of humanity that lead them to a distant planet. WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD. There they encounter the remnants of an advanced alien civilization and a rapidly evolving predatory species who wants to kill everything in order to propagate. But barely 30 minutes into the film and the series of inane, almost comical, decisions by the characters begin.

The team of scientists enter the alien structure in the middle of what they establish is a hostile environment. Once inside, they notice the atmosphere is  breathable and so they remove their helmets, thus inhaling the air and allowing the fluids from the environment drip all over their faces. Later, part of the same group encounters a living alien species (which remarkably resembles a King Cobra) and their first impulse is to pet it. Needless to say, all of these decisions have disastrous results. In the scifi genre, inconsistencies like this are unforgivable. There were more honest and rational reactions from humans discovering alien life in Galaxy Quest.

The core problem is that you never get a chance to understand the motivations behind the main characters. If you don’t appreciate what motivates them, you can’t root for them (as with great heroes) nor hate them (as with great villains). The android David, played by Fassbender, consciously infects a fellow crew member with the alien DNA in order to impregnate another crew member because … uh, because what again? The only survivor of the “engineer” species (whose DNA is identical to our own and apparently bio-engineered our ancestors) is thawed from a thousand-year sleep. Without explanation, his first thought is to kill everything in sight with his bare hands.

Why did the engineers create humans? Why are they breeding the perfect predator as a bio-weapon? What were they doing on this backwater planet? Why did they leave clues behind on Earth? And what exactly was the point of Charlize Theron’s character? Prometheus raises all kinds of questions but doesn’t provide satisfactory answers. Amid the blood splatter and flailing tentacles I guess we were not supposed to notice.

Prometheus is now in cinemas. Grumpy Fanboy rating: 2.5/5

If you’re looking for a more satisfying movie experience, both the original Alien (directed by Scott) and Aliens (directed by James Cameron) are amazing in Blu-Ray. I watched them both again before seeing Prometheus, which is about the only good thing to come out of this film’s release.

ADDENDUM: My last comment was incorrect. The best thing to come out of Prometheus was the following clip, which was actually a “viral video” issued months before the film’s release. It features Guy Pearce as Peter Weyland, appearing at a fictional TED Talk in the year 2023.

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